Feeling Wobbly, Maintaining Faith

Yesterday, I had a car accident. A flat-bed truck went into my lane, and I swerved into the one next to me, banging into another card, but luckily nobody was hurt. It capped off a day feeling overwhelmed (I cancelled my training session to sleep some more, too.) and made me pull the internal ‘stop’ cord to make this metaphorical train halt. I feel shaken up, especially remembering the height of the flat-bed part was right at my head, with visions of glass flying and the roof of my car folding in. I couldn’t stop because I had a car behind me. The truck got into its lane and sped away. I curse the driver with every tap of my keyboard; may he know he caused it, but I will be the one to shoulder the blame.

Fuck you, driver.

Almost like magic, more behind-the-scenes pictures from the latest Richard Armitage project show up on Twitter. God bless the Spaniards. Hey, can we set aside the historical rivalries for more pictures, yes? (Also, a huge thanks to the Richard Armitage Bulgaria account on Twitter.) One of the photos features a Catholic procession, the kind making people go ‘what the (bleep) is that!?’ I am trying to remember if we had pointy hats, but I do know there are bands. In fact, there’s one connected to the local Portuguese parish in town. I feel Richard Armitage left the Anglicanism of his childhood and took an objective interest in Catholic practices for this latest role. The celibacy thing is one HUGE difference between clergy, and there are some excellent writings on the subject. Celibacy doesn’t pretend sexuality doesn’t exist, but as energy channelled to creating something other than human life. That’s one of many explanations around, and I highly recommend A History of Celibacy for an in-depth study on the topic.

The other thing I suspect grabbing his attention is all the attention to Mary, mother of Jesus. Yup, she’s around and everywhere. It makes us look like she’s worshipped (not true) but does provide a model of faith for people. Also, she’s the albatross around my neck. I will never forget one local dude on a Catholic dating site stating, ‘I want a woman who models herself on Mary, not these pro-contraception feminists.’

I realized things feel spread thin and, perhaps, not going to the gym or running around to something else can act as a reset. I try to get on with things, but I already feel anxiety going down that road where the accident happened. The streets in Toronto freaked me out, and I was not the one driving. So, take it easy and do a reset for next week. No use pushing through if feeling wobbly mentally. (And, yes, carefully with the vino.)

7 thoughts on “Feeling Wobbly, Maintaining Faith

  1. Well, that’s miserable news. What a jerky driver, to just drive away. I’m glad you’re okay, but yes, take it easy for a while and gradually reacclimate yourself to the troublesome street.

    I haven’t read the book (yet) but I wonder if it’s significant that Quart is a Jesuit. To me, they’re not “just” clergy. They’re like clergy squared.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I haven’t read the book yet either. However, anytime a Jesuit is involved, it means dealing with someone with a rigorous intellect yet a boots-on-ground faith. They’re educators, sometimes in elite institutions, but they are also setting up schools in marginalized areas or programs meeting people where they are.

      I onced asked about a nun equivalent of Jesuits. Somebody said the Dominicans, I bet it’s the Benedictines. It’s interesting the male orders have these ‘rock star’ stand outs but it spreads evenly among the nuns.


      1. A church historian would mention the Ursulines if asked this question (not least because the orders often worked in tandem in terms of education, with the Jesuits contracting Ursulines to run schools for girls). I think the main problem is that the Council of Trent forced all female religious back into enclosure. Makes it harder to “stand out” or have a unique mission.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly, and it seemed the church remained in this defensive position for a long time. Suddenly, the people saying to listen to the Pope, under Benedict, now seem to forget the very thing under Francis. (Cue Artie Johnson’s “Intertesting” from Laugh-In.)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I think there are a lot of people in the upper levels of the curia who think it’s advantageous to paint Francis as a “radical” — when it comes down to it, he’s just a 70s liberal (not that that’s a bad thing, especially after Benedict). Painting Francis that way makes all the real radicals in the Catholic Church look like Satan.


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