The Courage to Start (Again)

South polar region penguin

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”
-John Bingham

Yesterday  was my graduation run.  After ten weeks starting what feels like an eternity ago, the For Women Only Clinic at The Running Room embarked on their last run together.  (At least those who can make it on Sunday.)  We did 2.22 miles (about 4 k) around the area.  The rest of the women will continue in the 5 K clinic on Mondays.  I needed to move things online with a Cardio Fit class on Mondays, while I work late on the prime evenings of Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  Yup, just me and my computer for the online 10 K clinic.

I will come out for Sundays at 8:30.  My goal is simple:  Keep in shape.  The other goal proves equally simple:  Get out of my house.  I now have my own place, but found myself getting changed into my pyjamas to flop in front of the TV.  Such a thing happens once in a while, but I found myself doing it often.  Determined to prevent another rut, it’s time to put some things in place.  In addition to my running clinic, I have an exercise class on Mondays at the college. Hopefully my nights will have something happening in between having down time.

I did notice my face looked slightly thinner in a recent photo from the Great Grain Relay. My scale tells me another story.  In fact if the story has a genre I would say it’s a fairy tale, preferably Snow White since the evil queen gets distorted answers from her magic mirror.  I don’t plan to poison anyone with an apple, just noticing my scale tells me one thing, while my body tell me another.

Really, why do I have this thing?  It’s an insidious device twisting perception like a fun house mirror.  I have a perfectly good tape measure telling me more truth by the inches than this digital crazy maker.  Pounds are secondary to health and I have known thin people with unhealthy habits.  I figure this time around it’s less about looking like a picture from a magazine and more about ageing well. I plan to be out-and-about senior while my contemporaries wheel around, wishing for those high school bodies again.

It’s time to steward the one body I have, not force into a mould created by Photoshop.  I will turn up at the starting line again and again.  It’s not a failure to me.

It’s a victory.

2 thoughts on “The Courage to Start (Again)

  1. THROW AWAY THE SCALE!!!! Or donate it to the Salvation Army or something. Just get weighed at your doctor when you go for a physical if you more or less want to keep track. How you feel is so much more important.

    Was reading something really interesting about this today but can’t remember where or exactly what. Will get back to you by email. Read too much today and it is all a jumble. Might have been feminist sociology of food might have been a quote from Joan Holloway…..

    BTW…. went for my first “run” in 10 months this morning. 10 minutes of very slow running mixed with 40 minutes of walking. Gotta (re)start somewhere!


    1. Yeah, it’s beginning to look like the scale’s days in my home are numbered. It’s why I don’t really want to go back to Weight Watcher’s. The scale did such a number on my psyche I have to deconstruct everything and start from scratch.

      Like you said:

      Gotta (re)start somewhere


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