I am trying to write more.
The journal I had before contained the notes from every phone call to dad’s nursing home. Every time the gave up his medications, food, and water are noted. The entries got shorter as my mind spiraled during the early days of the pandemic. Sadness and anxiety tugged me further and further down, while I look back in amazement at the things I DID do during that time. Last year, I took July off and slept. My mind felt like this block of ice between on top of my neck, with one functioning part doing whatever work needed.
I unwrapped a new notebook and began to write. I came back to my site and bagan typing. I also disovered my last entry had TONS of typos. This is what typing while drinking Rose does to a person. While my brain felt like and relaxed, my keyboard reflexes were impaired. At least, I am not driving. Yet, I question the whole creativity-while-smashed idea. I seem to remember reading the hard drinking Ernest Hemingway killed himself.
While the block of ice, my head, recedes I am taking a look at the landscape of my life. I decided to try something different this summer. I booked Mondays and Tuesdays off, except for this week becaue I had a couple of things happening and needed to attend to them, giving myself short work weeks. I booked a couple of weeks off in February to give myself some solid time. In my fervent prayers, I hope for a New York-based play with Richard Armitage in the cast. Some people go to the states to see their favourite musician play live and I want to see an actor practice his trade ‘unplugged.’
I also want to go back to New York.
I want to walk around, take the subway, feeling like my life is a blank slate to write something new. It’s the feeling I had in February of 2016. I returned to Winnipeg resentful of its small-town thinking. Winnipeg resists thinking it’s a city, with many types of people, and my current goverment has ministers from surrounding towns, applying their resentments to the godless bit city while their own people die earlier, die painfully, die hoping all that lifeless living with appease an exacting god. I like my job and feel grateful for the work I do. It helps others and I have a living. I wonder if the women supporting these men in my government resent women like me for not marrying to have a roof over their head and other ecominic supports? It seems that way as I remember the woman in my parish railing against these ‘greedy’ two-income families before divorcing her husband after all their kids are grown, leaving our parish after doling out her judgements to those with less their perfect lives.
I know you read those last paragraphs and thougt of your own cities and towns. It’s a strange comfort knowing my city, in this province, in this country, is not the only one.
My staycation will be mostly cleaning up and going on my balcony. I go for a walk with a friend if I can. That’s the hard part about these health order, it hits those living alone the hardest. One reporter, Bartley Kives with the CBC, asked our Premier Pallister about fully-vaccinated seniors spending time with others. As usual ‘Coach Bri’ didn’t have an answer. He kept saying ‘business and community’ or ‘the economy and people.’ Anything with a dollar sign gets top billing in his mind with people a means to economic production. Good news, Americans, you are not the only one with that kind of mentality. I worked for my staycation and I fully intend to rest.
2 thoughts on “Staycation: The Shorter Work-Week Sequel”
It really made me concretely angry: the way that people’s refusal to follow health guidelines extended the period of active infections and thus the period when it was unsafe for seniors to contact others. When you’re 79, a year is a long period of your life to lose.
Your staycation sounds great!
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Broadway opens up fully in September, I had hoped to take the train and disappear for a day walking around smelling the crisp fall air and seeing something anything at this point.
Enjoy your staycation. Sleep if you want to sleep. Drink Rose walk with your friend binge Netflix take care of YOU❤️❤️
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